Pregnancy Induced Writing Hiatus

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It’s amazing how one day turns to another and next thing you know, you are now the mom of two and life as you know has once again drastically changed.  But I can’t blame the pregnancy and subsequent delivery for the writing hiatus. It’s not like there haven’t been any sleepless nights or really early mornings. I certainly could have written then, but that would make me super productive and I like to keep a low profile lest people start to believe I can do it all.

So as I slowly move out of my hiatus, I thought it best to share the top 10 things from this pregnancy.

  1. Same questions, different pregnancy – Regardless of the pregnancy, people ask the same questions.  Some to be expected – how are you feeling, when are you due?  Other questions I wasn’t expecting this go around, but now realize that this is just how it goes – are you having twins?  It happened the first time and shockingly it happened again in this pregnancy.
  2. Clothing matters. During my first pregnancy, I wanted to be prepared (overly) and look cute.  The right dress for the shower, the perfect work clothes, etc.  My first thought way too early on in this pregnancy was, “Stretchy clothes, that’s all I want. Is that too much to ask for?” Followed by my second thought “How early is too early for maternity clothes?”
  3. Dressing properly is no easy task. I can hardly put on shoes without sitting down, but more importantly, when you walk around for half the day with a giant hole in your pants and then proceed to put them on backwards somehow that is a sign that you have arrived. No joke people. Around lunch time one day, I went to a maternity store to try on jeans to see if I could find a second pair of “they might as well be jeggings they’re so stretchy, jeans” to round out my minimalist wardrobe. I tried on several pair, made a decision and proceeded to put my pants back on. When I went to put my phone in my pocket, my hands met with nothingness. Weird. There should be pockets there. Oh, wait the pockets have somehow migrated to my back side. Awesome. Remove pants, and proceed to put them on correctly when I notice a shinning beacon of light pouring through the crotch. I don’t know about you but that’s totally not normal for me. How can this be you ask?  That would be because there is a giant hole in the crotch. Awesome.
  4. You slowly become the baby you’re about to birth. I was up at least once in the middle of the night – luckily not due to hunger. I woke up at the crack of dawn because I could no longer sleep, and I was ready for a nap by 9 am.  That pretty much sounds like the BabyWise schedule if you ask me.
  5. The dreams are just as weird.  There was the shark that had the brain and soul of a good friend’s brother.  My husband fell in love with the Disney character Cinderella (Not the animated version, just to be clear.  The animated version would be weird, right?).  I acquired the ability to breathe fire to protect my family.  When I confessed this last dream to my husband he asked “Like circus act breathe fire or mythological ability to breathe fire?”  Of course the mythological version.  Analyze that Freud.
  6. I still don’t want people touching my belly, but I had no choice.  This time around I was less fierce despite the fire breathing dreams about others touching my belly.  I allowed it at times, but not overly so.  I blame children – my child, other children.  They have no reserve.  They touch what they want to touch, belly included.  And truly, what can be done about this?  Nothing.  Children are much faster than me.  They’re the perfect height.  They don’t ask, they just do.  Kids certainly do not hesitate.  And truly, what can be done?  Yell at them?  Give them a dirty look?  It’s much easier to prevent the hesitant adult.  I didn’t stand a chance against kids.  So I had no choice and mostly gave in when it came to people touching my belly.
  7. It’s just as hard to pick baby names.  It’s even harder when you yet again decide not to find out the sex of the baby.  Double the names to come up with.  I’m surprise that people thought we were holding out on them.  I wish that were the case.  We really had no names that we liked.  Or maybe I should clarify and say we really have no names that I liked.  It’s a good thing we resorted to process of elimination or we might have ended up with Paco.
  8. Clothes, Clothes and more clothing issues – as if the others weren’t enough, I found that most of my previous maternity clothes did not fit.  The wonderful winter jacket (that I still wear even when I’m not pregnant – don’t judge) did not fit.  Not even close to fitting.  How is that possible?  I mean was I really that big?  Don’t answer that.
  9. You wear your food.  Or at least I wore my food.  Not only did crumbs find their way into every nook and cranny, but I suddenly couldn’t drink without spilling on myself.  And did I mention that at one point a co-worker pointing at my chest area, says you have something on you.  That’s right, some chocolate had found its way on my boob, but not where I could see it, only where others could point it out.
  10. Nothing is ever the same.  Things were never the same with the first baby and things are not the same now.  Things weren’t even the same with this pregnancy, and I’m sure as much as I try to find similarities in these kids, they are also different.  Ah, change, the only thing that remains constant.
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