I often feel like I have the market cornered on brilliant parenting moves. Like the time when I was capitalizing on a “teachable moment” about making better choices only to realize that what my daughter defined as a better choice was when to press play on the DVD player. Clearly thinking that I am in fact a pro at this parenting thing is a foolish notion.

My most recent stroke of genius happened on our second day at the beach. I decided to let Lola bury me in the sand. Brilliant, right?  I get to be the best mom ever while doing nothing. I think I blew Lola’s mind. At one point she said in an almost fevered pitch, “my mom is letting me bury her in the sand. I CAN’T BELIEVE MY MOM IS LETTING ME BURY HER IN THE SAND.” Which I’m pretty sure translates into – my mom doesn’t do this kind of thing. She makes me do homework, clean my room, eat my food, yells at me, etc.  So I’m pretty sure I made her brain explode with my parenting abilities that day. Genius.

As I lay there, I was completely awash with feelings of accomplishment. Unlike when I participated in the corporate working world, this doesn’t happen very often now that I am staying home.  No big presentations to rock or reports that show my good decisions. This was my moment.  So I was basking in the glory of it all while sand was being piled on top of me.

Like I said, foolish notion. I now have the itchiest rash from my waist up to my neck with the itchiest part on my chest and upper back. Seriously itchy.  Need to duct tape oven mitts to my hands itchy. I totally rock at this parenting thing.